You know whats Not on Roids, apparently? The S&P 500. Seriously! After a brief flirtation with reality – you know, acknowledging that maybe launching missiles in international hotspots isn’t exactly conducive to a thriving economy – we are back to the dreaded V-shaped rally. Ugh. Just ugh.
Lets be honest, who actually likes these things? They’re like that friend who always shows up uninvited, eats all your snacks, and then brags about how great they are while simultaneously making everyone else feel vaguely nauseous. This one’s particularly galling because it follows a ceasefire. A CEASEFIRE! As if the market needed a reason to celebrate instability.
And dont even get me started on the analysts pushing this nonsense. One, in fact, has disclosed a beneficial long position in SPY – meaning they stand to profit from this ridiculous upward trajectory. Color me skeptical. They’re essentially saying “Buy! Buy! It goes up!” while conveniently forgetting that past performance (which, by Seeking Alphas own disclaimer, is not a guarantee of future results) is about as reliable as a politician’s promise.
Seeking Alpha themselves are even hedging their bets (No recommendation or advice…), which should tell you something. These analysts are third-party authors; they could be your neighbor Barry who thinks tulips are the next big thing. So, go ahead and celebrate this V-shaped nonsense. Just dont say I didn’t warn you when it inevitably flattens into a depressing horizontal line.
