**SHOCKING CASE OF LIBRARY NEGLECT ROCKS SUBURBS**
In a bizarre incident that has left residents of a Detroit suburb reeling, a former resident has attempted to return a library book that was a whopping 50 YEARS overdue – and the library’s response has left everyone speechless.
According to sources, 72-year-old Bob Johnson had been carrying the weight of his bibliophilic guilt for decades, finally mustering up the courage to walk into the local library and return the book, “The Great Gatsby” by F. Scott Fitzgerald.
“I just couldn’t shake the feeling that I was a fugitive from the law,” said Johnson, sporting a hairdo that seemed to defy gravity. “I mean, who returns a book 50 years late? I’m like a literary fugitive!”
However, in a stunning twist, library officials told Johnson to KEEP THE BOOK. Yes, you read that right. Instead of hitting him with a massive fine or throwing him in the slammer, the library essentially said, “You know what, Bob? You’re off the hook. Keep the book. We’re just glad you didn’t return it with a 50-year-old coffee stain.”
“We’re just glad to have it back…or not,” said Library Director, Karen Thompson. “Honestly, we weren’t even sure if we still had a record of the book. It’s not like we’ve been sending out ‘ overdue’ notices to your great-grandkids or anything.”
Johnson was flabbergasted by the response. “I was expecting a lien on my house, not a get-out-of-jail-free card!” he exclaimed.
The book, which was reportedly in remarkably good condition considering its age, has been placed in a special “I-Guess-It’s-Free-Now” shelf, where it will apparently gather dust for eternity.
When asked if he planned to return any other overdue books, Johnson quipped, “Hey, I’ve got a few more I want to get off my chest. Maybe a VHS tape from 1987?”
