**GIANT HAND OF DOOM EVICTED FROM WELLINGTON SKYLINE AFTER 5 YEARS OF TERRORIZING RESIDENTS**
In a shocking move, the City of Wellington has finally succumbed to public pressure and announced the removal of the infamous “Hand of Fate” sculpture, a gargantuan hand with a human face that has loomed over the city for half a decade.
The 20-meter-tall behemoth, which was installed in 2018, has been the subject of both awe and terror for Wellingtonians, who have grown accustomed to its piercing gaze and unsettling presence. The sculpture, created by local artist Balthazar McSnazz, was meant to be a thought-provoking commentary on the nature of power and control, but has largely been regarded as a creepy eyesore.
“I was walking to work one morning, and I saw it staring at me,” said local resident Emily Wilson. “I mean, I know it’s just a sculpture, but it felt like it was judging me. I had to take a detour to avoid it.”
Despite initial protests from art enthusiasts, who argued that the Hand of Fate was a “bold and innovative work of art,” the city council has finally relented, citing concerns over the sculpture’s impact on local businesses and property values.
“We’ve had complaints from homeowners who say the Hand has been driving down property prices,” said Wellington Mayor, Andy Foster. “And let’s be real, it’s just plain creepy. We’re glad to see it go.”
The removal process, which is expected to take several weeks, will involve a team of experts in hazmat suits and a crane with a very, very long arm. The Hand of Fate will be relocated to a secure facility, where it will be stored until a new, less terrifying home can be found.
In related news, local businesses are reporting a surge in sales of “I survived the Hand of Fate” t-shirts and novelty items.
**UPDATE**: The artist behind the Hand of Fate has released a statement, claiming that the sculpture was meant to be a “symbol of hope and inspiration” and that its removal is a “tragic loss for the city’s cultural landscape.” McSnazz has announced plans to create an even larger, more terrifying sculpture, which will be unveiled at a location yet to be determined. Stay tuned for further updates on this developing story!
