**FELINE SCHOLAR FUR-GETS ABOUT HUMANS, EARNS DOCTORATE IN LITTER-ATURE**
Burlington, VT – In a whisker-ific ceremony, Whiskers O’Malley, a sassy feline from Vermont, has been awarded an honorary doctorate in Litter-ature from the University of Feline Excellence (or as it’s more commonly known, “The Cat’s Meow University”).
According to sources, Whiskers, a 3-year-old calico cat, was recognized for her groundbreaking contributions to the field of Litter-ature, including her seminal work, “The Art of Napping: A Feline’s Guide to Extreme Relaxation.”
“Whiskers’ research has revolutionized our understanding of the importance of catnapping, scratching posts, and belly rubs,” said Dr. Meowington, Dean of Feline Studies at the university. “Her work has been hailed as a masterpiece of feline scholarship, and we’re honored to bestow upon her the highest honor in Litter-ature: the D.Litt. (Doctor of Litter-ature) degree.”
Whiskers’ dissertation, which consisted of 500 pages of meticulously documented cat hairballs, scratching post reviews, and treat taste-testing notes, was hailed as a tour-de-force of feline scholarship.
“I’m purr-fectly thrilled to receive this honor,” Whiskers said in a statement, accepting her degree. “I hope my work inspires future generations of felines to pursue careers in Litter-ature, and to never underestimate the power of a good nap.”
Whiskers’ degree comes with a complimentary scratching post and a year’s supply of premium cat food. When asked about her plans for the future, Whiskers replied, “I’m thinking of writing a novel – perhaps a cat-astrophic romance or a thriller about a cat-astrophic event. The possibilities are endless!”
The university has announced plans to establish a Whiskers O’Malley Chair in Litter-ature, which will focus on the study of feline literature, culture, and cat-related phenomena.
In related news, Whiskers’ humans have been awarded a special prize for “Most Creative Use of Cat Hair” in their home.
