**BREAKING: MOO-VEMENT ON THE HIGHWAY!**
In a bizarre incident that brought traffic to a standstill, a renegade cow named Bessie brought Oklahoma City’s morning commute to a grinding halt on Tuesday. The wayward bovine, described as “a large, angry, and slightly caffeinated cow” by eyewitnesses, wandered onto the eastbound lanes of I-40, causing widespread delays and utter chaos.
“I was just trying to get to work on time, and suddenly there was a cow in the middle of the highway, mooing loudly and flailing its ears,” said commuter, Karen Jenkins. “I mean, I’ve seen some weird things on my daily drive, but this was udder madness!”
The cow, estimated to be around 1,000 pounds of pure, unadulterated beef, apparently escaped from a nearby farm and made a beeline for the highway. Witnesses described the scene as “surreal” and “like something out of a cartoon.”
“I was driving to work when I saw this giant cow just chillin’ in the middle of the road,” said commuter, Dave Wilson. “I slammed on my brakes and just sat there, staring at this cow like, ‘What in tarnation are you doing here?'”
As authorities scrambled to corral the wayward cow, traffic ground to a halt, with cars and trucks backed up for miles. The Oklahoma City Police Department’s finest were called to the scene, armed with an impressive array of cow-catching gear, including lassos, cattle prods, and what appeared to be a can of spray cheese.
After a tense standoff that lasted for over an hour, the cow was finally coaxed onto the shoulder of the road, where it was treated to a special breakfast of hay and corn. The highway was eventually reopened, and commuters were able to breathe a sigh of relief.
When asked for comment, the cow simply mooed and shook its head, as if to say, “What? I’m just trying to get to the other side…of the highway.”
