**BREAKING: ZOO DIRECTOR GOES ROGUE, DONNING OSTRICH COSTUME FOR EPIC ESCAPE DRILL**
In a bizarre incident that has left animal lovers and zoo enthusiasts alike in stitches, the director of the Perth Zoo in Australia took the phrase “getting down to business” to a whole new level. In a surprise escape drill, the zoo’s director, dressed in a hilariously oversized ostrich costume, made a break for it, leaving a trail of bewildered employees and security guards in his wake.
Eyewitnesses described the scene as “absolute pandemonium” as the director, who wishes to remain anonymous (but not anonymous enough, as he’s about to become an internet sensation), donned a bright pink ostrich onesie and set off on a wild goose chase through the zoo.
“I was just minding my own business, feeding the giraffes, when suddenly I saw this…this…thing, flapping its arms and squawking loudly,” said zoo employee, Jane Smith. “At first, I thought it was a real ostrich, but then I saw the director’s face peeking out from behind the feathers and I just lost it!”
The drill, which was meant to test the zoo’s emergency response procedures, quickly turned into a sidesplitting spectacle, with the director-ostrich making a beeline for the zoo’s reptile house.
“It was like he was trying to escape to greener pastures…or at least, the snake enclosure,” said zoo security guard, Bob Johnson. “I’ve never seen anyone move so fast in a onesie. I was laughing so hard, I had to hold onto the wall to keep from falling over!”
The director-ostrich’s escape route took him through the zoo’s monkey enclosure, where he was reportedly chased by a troop of mischievous capuchin monkeys.
“It was like they thought he was one of their own kind,” said zoo spokesperson, Emily Chen. “They were swinging from tree to tree, trying to catch him. It was like a scene from a wildlife documentary…or a cartoon!”
Despite the chaos, the drill was deemed a success, with the zoo’s emergency response team quickly apprehending the director-ostrich and escorting him back to his duties.
When asked for comment, the director-ostrich simply shrugged and said, “Hey, someone’s got to keep things interesting around here!”
The zoo has released a statement saying that the director’s antics will be featured in their upcoming social media campaign, with the hashtag #OstrichOnTheLoose trending on Twitter.
In related news, the zoo’s gift shop has reported a surge in sales of ostrich costumes, with many visitors eager to channel their inner director-ostrich.
**UPDATE:** The director has announced plans to take his ostrich costume on the road, with a series of comedy shows and escape drills scheduled for zoos and wildlife parks across the country.
Stay tuned for more updates on this developing story!
