“Heavy Metal Wagon: A Steal For Only $100,000!”
In an era where gas emissions and fuel efficiency have become the buzzwords of the automobile industry, the world is surprised to see a vintage Radio Flyer red wagon making headlines for all the wrong reasons. This supposed “wonder on wheels” is up for grabs as an auction item at a starting price of $100,000. Yes, you read that right – six zeroes follow the number 1.
The SUV-sized vehicle, boasting a massive 57,000 miles on the odometer, has a top speed of 60 mph. However, reports suggest that the wagon is facing severe competition from high-speed tortoises racing on the highways. Jokes aside, this could very well be the only vehicle in the world that doesn’t require braking for speed limits.
Some experts suggest that the wagon has been modified heavily, with a souped-up engine and a nitrous oxide boost; all of which can be traced back to its previous owner, a speed-crazed toddler who loved to cruise down the neighborhood at lightning-fast speeds. The vehicle comes equipped with an air conditioning system, power windows, and a sound system. Sources suggest that the wagon has an advanced sensory alert system that alerts the driver of approaching dangers such as potholes and the occasional speed bump.
The wagon appears to be a classic collectible for those with money to burn and a love for childhood memories. Multiple bidders have come forward with offers in excess of $150,000, hoping to make this $100,000 starting point a bargain. Buyers claim that this wagon would be perfect for their children or grandchildren, conveniently forgetting the fact that the age limit for this vehicle lies somewhere between the ages of 2 to 6.
Some, however, are not too impressed with the new-age Radio Flyer. They claim that the vehicle is not environmentally friendly and is detrimental to the planet’s overall health. One such person, who wished to remain anonymous, said, “While the rest of the world is spending their money on electric vehicles, these people are bidding thousands of dollars on a ’80s relic that has no purpose on the roads. It’s like throwing money in the trash!”.
However, experts say that the vehicle’s potential buyer could very well be a Hollywood celebrity with too much money and not enough taste. The wagon is reportedly making headlines in high-end car magazines and is on the radar of automobile connoisseurs who would rather spend their life savings on something that would make most people cringe.
In conclusion, this vehicle may look and sound like a joke, but it is up for grabs for the not-so-insignificant sum of $100,000. If you’re in the market for a heavy, impractical, and outrageously expensive wagon, then this is the perfect investment for you. Don’t miss out on the bidding frenzy, as you could be the lucky owner of a vehicle that is sure to make a statement – except for the small little issue of being too fast for a wagon!
