Seriously? Porch Pirates Now Have Tails?
Are we even trying anymore, people? Apparently not. Because now, instead of some hardened criminal meticulously planning a spree of package theft, we’re getting…dogs. Yes, you read that right. Dogs. The Oklahoma City Police Department, in their infinite wisdom (and desire for viral clicks), decided to share video footage of two adorable, fluffy fiends absconding with packages left on porches.
Pooch Pirates! Seriously? Is this what we’ve come to? Im fairly certain my tax dollars are not meant to fund investigations into canine kleptomania. I picture the detectives painstakingly tracking muddy paw prints, analyzing fur samples, and issuing APB alerts for a golden retriever with a penchant for Amazon boxes.
And the internet, naturally, is losing its collective mind over this heartwarming tale of animal mischief. Awww, so cute! they squeal. No! It’s not cute! Its a symptom of a larger problem: rampant porch piracy and a societal acceptance of…well, whatever this is.
I bet the owners of those stolen packages found it incredibly amusing too. Probably while filing police reports and dealing with shipping companies. Because thats just how things work now. Crime gets increasingly ridiculous, and we’re all supposed to chuckle along. Wonderful. Just wonderful.
