Seriously? Monkeys in Missouri?!
Honestly, is anything surprising anymore? Apparently, St. Louis now has a burgeoning population of escaped vervet monkeys. Vervet monkeys! As if potholes and questionable weather werent enough to contend with, we’re now supposed to worry about primates swinging from power lines?
I mean, really think about this for a second. Someone, somewhere, thought it was a brilliant idea to have these creatures in the first place. Were they escaped from some bizarre private collection? A forgotten research facility? I need answers! And probably a very large banana.
And now authorities are on the hunt. Because chasing monkeys through residential neighborhoods is exactly how I pictured my local government spending taxpayer dollars. I’m sure thats going incredibly productively. While we’re all worrying about potential monkey-related shenanigans, whos dealing with the actual important stuff?
Dont get me wrong; a monkey sighting could be entertaining for a brief five minutes. But I suspect this will quickly devolve into property damage, panicked calls to animal control, and an endless stream of monkey on the loose headlines. Just another delightful addition to the already chaotic landscape of modern life. Fantastic.
