Pet store owners across England are absolutely thrilled after a two-headed snake hatched from one of their eggs five weeks ago. Who wouldn’t love a snake with double the opportunity to bite you? The store, which has yet to be named to avoid public shaming, believes that the snake is not only safe but healthy.
You read that right; a snake with two heads, no one has heard of that before, right? Well, move over ‘Freak Show’ because pet stores have now decided to take on the role of circus exhibitors. That’s right folks, why just keep animals as pets when you can use them for entertainment instead?
While we’re sure the store has the animal’s best interests at heart, does anyone really need a two-headed snake in their lives? Yeah, let’s all line up to see the creature with two brains and two tongues. Who needs normal, run-of-the-mill snakes these days?
According to anonymous sources, the store will now look to breed more multi-headed snakes to entice animal lovers and circus goers alike. Why stop at two heads, after all? Let’s aim for a snake with five or six heads.
Some speculate that the snake was an accident and not a miraculous breed as some may claim. They say that the snake’s father may have been a snake from Chernobyl, contaminated with radiation, and hence the genetic disorder. But hey, radiation, shmination! It’s not like we’ve ever seen any horrific side effects after the infamous Chernobyl disaster, right?
Critics argue that the pet store is exploiting an innocent animal for nothing more than monetary gain and cheap thrills. But let’s face it; isn’t that what most pet stores do anyway? It’s not like pet stores have a reputation for ethical practices, to begin with.
The store owners claim that they will be giving this unique creature the utmost care and attention, including regular check-ups by specialized veterinarians who won’t even look up from their phones. Whoops, did we say that out loud? Sorry to break it to you, readers, but we couldn’t help the sarcasm.
At any rate, it does make you wonder about the snake’s everyday life. Do both heads get equal of ear scratches or is one head just left out? And if they ever got into an argument, which head would win? So many questions arise when faced with this magnificent creature.
We can only hope that pet stores across the globe will follow suit and start hatching double-headed snakes of their own. After all, who needs integrity and morality when you have two heads on a snake?
