**BREAKING: Coastguard Foils Daring Rescue of “Person-Shaped” Object, Only to Discover it was Just a Really Realistic Training Dummy**
In a bizarre incident that has left the coastal community of Cornwall in stitches, the British Coastguard has revealed that the “person” they dramatically rescued from the jaws of the sea yesterday was, in fact, a training dummy.
The “dramatic” rescue, which was widely reported on social media, showed a coastguard boat rushing to the aid of a “struggling swimmer” in a yellow flotation device. The crew bravely plucked the “victim” from the water, only to discover that it was a remarkably lifelike training dummy.
“It was like something out of a horror movie,” said Coastguard spokesperson, Jane Smith. “We thought we were dealing with a real emergency, but it turned out to be just a dummy. A very realistic one, I might add.”
The training dummy, which has been identified as “Bob,” was being used by a group of marine biologists to study the effects of ocean currents on, well, inanimate objects.
“We were just trying to see how long it would take for Bob to float away,” said Dr. John Taylor, lead researcher on the project. “We didn’t mean to cause a stir. I guess you could say Bob ‘made a splash’.”
The coastguard crew, who had been on high alert for the rescue, were left looking a bit silly, but also relieved that no actual lives were at risk.
“It was a bit of a laugh, to be honest,” said Coastguard officer, Mark Davis. “We’ve had some weird rescues before, but this one takes the biscuit. Or should I say, the dummy?”
The incident has sparked a heated debate about the use of realistic training dummies in marine research, with some calling for stricter guidelines on the use of “decoy” objects in the ocean.
In the meantime, Bob the training dummy has become an unlikely celebrity, with many taking to social media to poke fun at the “person-shaped” object that brought the coastguard to its knees.
**UPDATE:** The manufacturer of the training dummy has issued a statement saying that Bob is “just doing his job” and that he’s “not just a pretty face.”
