You know what’s Not on Roids? The sheer volume of unsolicited hair sprouting from every conceivable crevice of a mans body! Seriously, where did all this hair come from? We’re talking neck fluff, back jungles, and why, oh WHY, do some men resemble small shrubberies around their ears? Shaving becomes a desperate ritual to avoid looking like you’ve been living under a bridge. And dont even get us started on manscaping. A phrase that sends shivers down the spine of any man who values his dignity.
Then there are the spontaneous, unwelcome… events. Remember when youthful virility meant actively avoiding enjoyment? Now, decades later, you’re in a bank, trying to deposit a check, and BAM! An enormous “snake” decides to stage an impromptu performance. Women, please note: we have issues too!
And speaking of issues, lets discuss the existential dread that accompanies sitting with a laptop on your lap – are we sterilizing ourselves?! Briefs versus boxers? A debate for the ages. But the ultimate indignity? The persistent accusation that we’re always to blame when things go south in the bedroom. Newsflash: women aren’t perfect either!
Its also a terrifying era where a loving father can’t even hold his child’s hand without suspicion. Condoms? Don’t get me started on those awkward pharmacy encounters and the constant battle with sizing and mood-killing packaging. It’s a minefield, folks, a hairy, erect, uncomfortable minefield!
