Categories
BREAKING NEWS HISTORIC MOMENT ROCKS THE WORLD: 1,276 MARIMBA PLAYERS UNITE TO SHATTER WORLD RECORD FOR LARGEST MARIMBA ENSEMBLE EVER ASSEMBLED! In a spectacle that will be etched in the annals of history forever, 1,276 marimba players gathered in the small town of Marimba-ville, USA, to attempt to break the world record for the largest marimba ensemble ever assembled
**BREAKING NEWS** HISTORIC MOMENT ROCKS THE WORLD: 1,276 MARIMBA PLAYERS UNITE TO SHATTER WORLD RECORD FOR LARGEST MARIMBA ENSEMBLE EVER ASSEMBLED! In a spectacle that […]
Categories
BREAKING: MIRACLE IN THE BLUEGRASS STATE! In a stunning turn of events, a Kentucky family farm has yielded a long-lost treasure that’s left residents agog with wonder
**BREAKING: MIRACLE IN THE BLUEGRASS STATE!** In a stunning turn of events, a Kentucky family farm has yielded a long-lost treasure that’s left residents agog […]
Categories
BREAKING: MARYLAND HISTORICAL SOCIETY BAFFLED BY MYSTERIOUS MACHINE THAT MAY CHANGE COURSE OF HISTORY (OR AT LEAST LOCAL DINING HABITS) Annapolis, MD – In a bizarre turn of events, the Maryland Historical Society has announced that they are on the hunt for the identity of a mysterious machine that has been spotted roaming the streets of Annapolis, leaving a trail of confusion and bewildered onlookers in its wake
**BREAKING: MARYLAND HISTORICAL SOCIETY BAFFLED BY MYSTERIOUS MACHINE THAT MAY CHANGE COURSE OF HISTORY (OR AT LEAST LOCAL DINING HABITS)** Annapolis, MD – In a […]
Categories
BREAKING: SANTA CLAUS OFFICIATES MASS WEDDING EXTRAVAGANZA ON CHRISTMAS EVE EVE! In a shocking turn of events, jolly old Saint Nick traded in his sleigh for a wedding officiant’s hat yesterday, as he presided over a whopping 475 weddings in a single day! The festivities took place at the North Pole’s largest event venue, where a sea of blushing brides and dashing grooms gathered to exchange their vows in a joyous celebration of love and holiday cheer
**BREAKING: SANTA CLAUS OFFICIATES MASS WEDDING EXTRAVAGANZA ON CHRISTMAS EVE EVE!** In a shocking turn of events, jolly old Saint Nick traded in his sleigh […]
Categories
BREAKING: Prickly Pioneer Born in San Diego! In a groundbreaking feat that will go down in the annals of veterinary history, the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance has successfully performed the world’s first-ever cesarean section on a North American porcupine! The porcupine, affectionately named “Prickles,” was born on a sunny Wednesday morning, weighing in at a whopping 1
**BREAKING: Prickly Pioneer Born in San Diego!** In a groundbreaking feat that will go down in the annals of veterinary history, the San Diego Zoo […]
Categories
BREAKING: Fiery Fiasco as Statue’s Blazing Behavior Baffles Experts In a bizarre incident that has left scientists scratching their heads and citizens shielding their faces, a mysterious statue in the heart of the city has been spitting real fire for weeks, prompting concerns about its unprecedented gas-guzzling habits
**BREAKING: Fiery Fiasco as Statue’s Blazing Behavior Baffles Experts** In a bizarre incident that has left scientists scratching their heads and citizens shielding their faces, […]
Categories
BREAKING: Local Woman’s 81-Year-Old Birthday Tradition Takes Bizarre Turn
**BREAKING: Local Woman’s 81-Year-Old Birthday Tradition Takes Bizarre Turn… Again** In a shocking revelation that has left the small town of Oakdale, Kentucky reeling, 92-year-old […]
Categories
BREAKING: TOY INDUSTRY SHOCKED AS MOST EPIC, LIFE-CHANGING, AND JAW-DROPPING TOYS OF ALL TIME ANNOUNCE BID FOR NATIONAL TOY HALL OF FAME Rochester, NY – In a move that has left toy enthusiasts and collectors alike REELING WITH EXCITEMENT, the National Toy Hall of Fame has announced its finalists for induction, and the list is a REAL GAME-CHANGER
**BREAKING: TOY INDUSTRY SHOCKED AS MOST EPIC, LIFE-CHANGING, AND JAW-DROPPING TOYS OF ALL TIME ANNOUNCE BID FOR NATIONAL TOY HALL OF FAME** Rochester, NY – […]
Categories
BREAKING: Kalamazoo Man’s 25-Year Lottery Drought Ends with Whopping $626,575 Jackpot Win! In a stunning turn of events, 42-year-old Kalamazoo County resident, Bob Smith, has finally hit the big time – and by big time, we mean REALLY, REALLY BIG TIME! After playing the same set of numbers for an astonishing 25 years, Smith’s luck has changed, and he’s now $626,575 richer! According to sources close to the Kalamazoo County Lottery Commission (which we totally made up), Smith has been playing the same five numbers – 3, 11, 27, 32, and 42 – every week since 1998
**BREAKING: Kalamazoo Man’s 25-Year Lottery Drought Ends with Whopping $626,575 Jackpot Win!** In a stunning turn of events, 42-year-old Kalamazoo County resident, Bob Smith, has […]
Categories
BREAKING: CANINE MENACE ON THE LOOSE! In a bizarre incident that has left authorities baffled and motorists bewildered, a duo of rambunctious dogs was spotted careening wildly along a stretch of Interstate 405 in Washington, causing a stir among commuters and leaving a trail of destruction in their wake
**BREAKING: CANINE MENACE ON THE LOOSE!** In a bizarre incident that has left authorities baffled and motorists bewildered, a duo of rambunctious dogs was spotted […]
