**BREAKING: Spherical Sensation Stuns Charity Auction as “Roundest Egg in the World” Sells for Small Fortune**
In a shocking turn of events, a humble egg purchased from a local supermarket has sold for a whopping $250 at a charity auction, sending shockwaves throughout the community. The reason? Its astonishingly, almost laughably, perfectly spherical shape.
The egg, which was described by bidders as “the most symmetrical thing I’ve ever seen,” was donated to the charity by a local resident who had purchased it just days before at a nearby supermarket. “I thought it was just a regular egg, but when I got home and put it on the counter, I noticed it was just… perfectly round,” said the egg’s original owner. “I mean, it was like it was drawn by a mathematician or something!”
The egg, which has been dubbed “The Orb” by auctioneers, was expected to fetch a modest price, but its unique shape sent bidders into a frenzy. “I’ve seen some weird things in my time, but this egg was something else,” said auctioneer extraordinaire, Reginald P. Bottomsworth. “It was like it had been sat on by a giant, celestial accountant or something.”
The bidding war, which lasted for a record 17 minutes, saw several prominent collectors and eccentric millionaires vying for the prized egg. “I just couldn’t resist the opportunity to own the most perfectly spherical egg in the world,” said winning bidder, millionaire entrepreneur, Bertrand T. Fothergill III. “I mean, think of the bragging rights alone – ‘I’ve got an egg that’s more symmetrical than a perfectly symmetrical thing can be!'”
The charity, which will receive the proceeds from the sale, has announced plans to use the funds to support a new initiative: “Operation: Round Up the Imperfections.” The program aims to provide support to individuals struggling with self-acceptance and body image issues. “We’re thrilled to have such a unique opportunity to make a difference,” said a spokesperson for the charity. “And who knows, maybe The Orb will inspire a new generation of perfectly imperfect individuals.”
In related news, the supermarket where the egg was purchased has reported a surge in sales of “unusually shaped” produce, with customers clamoring to find their own quirky treasures. As one shopper noted, “You never know what hidden treasures you might find in the produce aisle – or what unexpected windfalls might come your way!”
