BREAKING: Local Man’s Uncle’s Cousin’s Brother-in-Law’s Dog Walker’s Advice Leads to Life-Changing $100,000 Lottery Jackpot
FORT MEADE, MD – In a bizarre turn of events, 32-year-old John Smith of Maryland is celebrating after winning a staggering $100,000 lottery prize, all thanks to some questionable advice from his friend’s uncle, Bubba.
According to sources close to the winner, Smith was struggling to decide which numbers to play in the Maryland Lottery’s “Pick 5” game. That’s when he turned to his buddy, Jimmy, who casually mentioned that his uncle, Bubba, was an “expert” in these matters.
“I was like, ‘Jimmy, who’s Bubba?’ And Jimmy was all, ‘Oh, he’s my uncle. He’s got a Ph.D. in lotteryology,'” Smith recalled. “I was skeptical, but desperate, so I gave it a shot.”
Bubba’s “expert” advice? To choose numbers based on the birthdays of his favorite celebrities. Smith explained: “Bubba told me to pick the numbers 23, 11, 7, 4, and 2, because those were the birthdays of Tom Hanks, Dolly Parton, Albert Einstein, and… uh… my goldfish, Mr. Whiskers.”
Miraculously, those exact numbers matched the winning combination, securing Smith a cool $100,000.
When asked about his reaction upon learning of his win, Smith exclaimed, “I face-planted into my couch, screaming ‘BUBBA WAS RIGHT!’ My neighbors thought I was having some kind of existential crisis.”
As for Bubba, he’s being hailed as a local hero. “I’m just glad I could help,” Bubba said in a statement. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go give my cat, Fluffy, some lottery tips.”
The Maryland Lottery Commission has announced plans to feature Smith and Bubba in a new advertising campaign, with the slogan: “Don’t trust just anyone – trust Uncle Bubba’s lottery expertise!”
When reached for comment, Smith’s mom simply shook her head and muttered, “I told him to marry a nice girl… not take advice from Bubba.”
