**BREAKING: SNAKE-GATE ROCKS JAPAN’S RAIL NETWORK AS BULLET TRAIN GRINDS TO A HALT**
Tokyo, Japan – In a shocking turn of events, one of Japan’s notoriously punctual bullet trains, the Shinkansen, was brought to a screeching halt for a whopping 17 minutes yesterday evening after a slithery stowaway was discovered in a passenger car.
The usually reliable train, which was carrying hundreds of commuters on its journey from Tokyo to Osaka, was delayed after a keen-eyed passenger spotted a snake making itself at home in a vacant seat.
“It was like something out of a horror movie,” said passenger Yui Nakamura, still shaken by the experience. “I was just sipping my coffee and enjoying the view when I saw this… this… serpent just chillin’ in the seat next to me. I almost spilled my matcha all over the place!”
The snake, identified as a harmless Japanese rat snake, was reportedly basking in the warmth of the train’s air conditioning vent when it was discovered.
“I was on my way to a meeting with a potential client, and I was already running late,” said frustrated passenger Taro Matsumoto. “And then, BAM! The train stops and they announce that there’s a snake on board. I mean, who does that? I had to spend an extra 17 minutes of my precious time stuck on a train with a reptile stowaway!”
Train officials were quick to respond to the situation, and after a thorough search of the train, the snake was safely removed and released back into the wild.
“We apologize for the inconvenience this may have caused our passengers,” said a spokesperson for Japan Railways. “We take the safety and comfort of our passengers very seriously, and we are reviewing our protocols to ensure that this kind of incident does not happen again.”
The train eventually departed 17 minutes behind schedule, but passengers were reportedly understanding and even amused by the unusual delay.
“It was a funny story to tell, but still, 17 minutes is a long time to wait for a train,” said Nakamura. “I guess you could say it was a hiss-terical experience!”
The incident has sparked a heated debate on social media, with many calling for increased measures to prevent future reptilian incursions on Japan’s rail network.
In related news, Japan Railways has announced plans to introduce snake-deterrent measures, including the installation of snake-repellent air fresheners and the deployment of highly trained snake-handling teams.
**UPDATE:** The snake has since been named “Slinky” and has become an unlikely social media sensation, with many calling for it to be appointed as the official mascot of Japan’s rail network.
