BREAKING: MARYLAND MAN WINS BIG… AGAIN! (Sort Of)
In a bizarre case of déjà vu, 42-year-old Baltimore resident, Dave Wilson, claimed that his uncle’s 1987 $1 million lottery jackpot win inspired him to purchase a lottery ticket… 35 years later. And, well, let’s just say it paid off. Kind of.
According to Wilson, his uncle, “Uncle” Bob, hit the big time back in the day, scooping up a cool million bucks in the Maryland lottery. The win was so life-changing that it apparently seared itself into Wilson’s brain, motivating him to buy his own ticket last week.
“I was eating a crab cake at my aunt’s house when Uncle Bob told me about his win,” Wilson explained in an interview. “I was like, ‘Wow, a million bucks! That’s a lot of crabs!’ So, I decided to buy a ticket and, well, you know the rest.”
Wilson’s ticket matched four numbers and a Powerball, earning him a whopping $50,000. Not bad, but still a far cry from his uncle’s life-changing windfall.
When asked if he felt like he’d struck gold, Wilson chuckled, “Eh, it’s not a million bucks, but I can buy a lot of crabs with $50,000! I’m basically set for life… or at least until my next crab cake craving.”
The Maryland Lottery Commission confirmed that Wilson’s win was a valid one, but we’re still waiting to see if he’ll be buying his own yacht to sail the Chesapeake Bay anytime soon.
In related news, “Uncle” Bob was unavailable for comment, but sources close to the family confirm that he’s still riding high on his 1987 win and is now considering investing in a crab cake food truck.
