**BREAKING: Wales Plagued by Series of Utterly Ridiculous Emergency Calls**
Cardiff, Wales – In a bizarre series of events, the Welsh emergency services have been inundated with a slew of utterly absurd calls that have left responders scratching their heads in utter bewilderment.
According to sources, the most “inappropriate” emergency calls of the year have been revealed, and they are a doozy. Topping the list is a man who phoned 999 because his finger was stuck in a beer bottle. Yes, you read that right – a beer bottle.
“I was just trying to get a good grip on the old pint, and next thing I knew, my finger was wedged in the bottle neck,” said the unnamed caller. “I didn’t know what to do, so I called the emergency services. I mean, who needs a hospital when you’ve got a finger stuck in a beer bottle, right?”
Responders arrived on the scene to find the man, who was reportedly “well on his way” to being inebriated, clutching his beer bottle like it was a precious gem.
“We tried to reassure him that we couldn’t just ‘cut him free’ with a pair of scissors, as much as we would have liked to,” said a spokesperson for the Welsh Ambulance Service. “In the end, we had to call in a specialist team – aka his mate with some WD-40 and a hair dryer. They managed to free his finger, but not before he asked if we could still bring him another pint.”
But that wasn’t the only ridiculous call the Welsh emergency services received. Other notable mentions include:
* A woman who called 999 because she was “stuck in a revolving door and couldn’t get out… or get a decent selfie”
* A man who phoned because his cat was “stuck in a tree and needed an airlift… and a cat-sized parachute”
* A person who called because they were “lost in their own house and couldn’t find the TV remote… or their dignity”
The Welsh emergency services are urging people to only call 999 in real emergencies, and to please, for the love of all things sane, not for frivolous reasons like a stuck finger or a lost TV remote.
“We understand that sometimes people need help, but we can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all,” said the spokesperson. “I mean, who hasn’t been stuck in a revolving door at some point, right?”
