**GIANT MUTANT FISH WASHES UP ON OREGON BEACH, RESIDENTS RUN FOR COVER**
In a bizarre incident that has left scientists baffled and beachgoers bewildered, a gargantuan fish described as “the stuff of nightmares” washed up on a beach in Oregon yesterday. The creature, which measured a whopping 20 feet in length and 5 feet in width, was said to resemble something straight out of a science fiction horror movie.
“I was just out for a stroll, enjoying the sunset, when I saw this…this…thing,” said local resident, Jane Doe. “It was like something a mad scientist had created in a lab and then abandoned on the beach. I mean, it had scales as black as coal, eyes that glowed like embers, and a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth. I ran for my life!”
The fish, which has been identified as some sort of mutant deep-sea dweller, was said to have a bulbous body, long fins, and a tail that looked like it belonged on a shark. But it was the creature’s bioluminescent spots that really caught people’s attention.
“It was like it was glowing from the inside out,” said Oregon State University marine biologist, Dr. John Smith. “I’ve never seen anything like it. We’re talking to experts all over the world, trying to figure out what this thing is and where it came from.”
This is the third time this summer that a giant, genetically-modified-looking fish has washed up on an Oregon beach. In June, a 15-foot fish with iridescent scales was found on the coast, and just last month, a 12-foot fish with what appeared to be a dorsal fin was discovered.
“I don’t know what’s going on,” said Governor Kate Brown. “But I do know that we need to get to the bottom of this. We can’t have giant mutant fish washing up on our beaches willy-nilly. It’s just not good for tourism.”
The Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife has set up a task force to investigate the strange occurrences, and residents are advised to stay away from any fish that look suspiciously like they were created by a team of deranged scientists.
In related news, sales of seafood have plummeted in Oregon, and local restaurants are offering “I survived the giant mutant fish” t-shirts as a souvenir.
