**BREAKING: David Rush Shatters Chopstick-Throwing World Record, Stuns Onlookers with Unbelievable Feat**
In a jaw-dropping display of skill and sheer, unadulterated madness, David Rush has obliterated the world record for most chopsticks thrown into a bucket from 10 feet away. The crowd went wild as Rush, a 32-year-old former circus performer and professional snail trainer, launched an astonishing 57 chopsticks into the air, each one soaring towards its target with the precision of a heat-seeking missile.
Eyewitnesses described the scene as “absolute pandemonium” as Rush, donning a bright pink jumpsuit and a confident grin, began his attempt at 3 PM sharp. With a fierce cry of “Chopstick-fu, activate!” he launched the first stick, which sailed through the air like a tiny, wooden bullet, landing with a satisfying “thwack” in the waiting bucket.
As the crowd held its collective breath, Rush proceeded to throw an incredible 56 more chopsticks, each one hitting its mark with eerie accuracy. The bucket, which had been placed a safe 10 feet away, was rapidly filling up with the clicking, clacking sticks, much to the amazement of the gathered onlookers.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Dr. Emily Chen, a leading expert in the field of Chopstick Dynamics. “David Rush’s technique is a masterclass in speed, accuracy, and sheer, unadulterated chopstick-throwing prowess. He’s a game-changer, a trailblazer, a… well, a chopstick-throwing ninja.”
Rush’s record-breaking achievement has earned him a coveted spot in the Guinness World Records, as well as a year’s supply of chopsticks and a complimentary ticket to the annual “Chopstick-Con” in Tokyo.
When asked about his secret to success, Rush modestly attributed his victory to “a combination of intense training, unwavering dedication, and a healthy dose of crazy.” He also revealed that he’s already planning his next attempt: “I’m going for 100 chopsticks from 20 feet. It’s going to be a real challenge, but I’m ready to take it to the next level.”
In related news, the local bucket manufacturers’ association has reported a surge in demand for their products, citing Rush’s incredible feat as the reason. “It’s a great time to be in the bucket business,” said a spokesperson for the association. “Who knew chopsticks could be so… bucket-ful?”
