**Local Woman Discovers Unexpected Bathroom Decoration, Seeks Law Enforcement Guidance**
**Columbia, SC** – In an incident that is sure to remind us all that life comes with its fair share of surprises, a South Carolina woman found herself in a rather unconventional predicament this Tuesday when she entered her bathroom and stumbled upon a large ball python casually residing behind her toilet. Following the unexpected encounter, she bravely decided that contacting law enforcement was the most logical course of action.
According to reports, the woman, who prefers to remain unnamed—possibly in a bid to distance herself from the incident—described the encounter as “remarkably alarming” yet “slightly less shocking than finding a Netflix cancellation notice.” It seems the Python was either unaware of its questionable choice of residence or simply believed the bathroom was a prime spot for lounging after a long day of being a snake.
Instead of embracing the snake-themed decor with open arms, this woman opted to call the Columbia Police Department. “I mean, why enjoy anomaly when you can escalate it to the authorities?” she surely thought. Moments after admitting that, yes, she indeed has a larger problem than just lack of toilet paper, officers arrived on the scene, likely stifling laughter as they processed the gravity of the situation.
Eyewitnesses say the police arrived promptly, perhaps drawing straws to see who would be tasked with the “exciting” job of possibly retrieving the snake. “You would think people would have enough to worry about these days,” remarked Officer Dan Hargrove, who, let’s face it, probably saw his career aspirations of handling bank robberies temporarily sidelined to deal with an uninvited reptilian guest.
In what can only be seen as a monumental miss of the usual bathroom etiquette—where expected items include towels and soap—this snake certainly challenged the conventional norms of personal space. “Who knew that bathroom breaks could include a run-in with wildlife?” reflected one amused neighbor. “I always thought it was just awkward conversations with the in-laws that would make it unfriendly. Little did I know how wrong I was.”
Fortunately, the officers contacted animal control, who eventually arrived to escort the ball python to a new, more appropriate habitat—far, far away from domestic toilets. Authorities later confirmed that the snake was unharmed and didn’t even swipe at the officers, possibly out of sheer surprise. Who can blame it? Most folks prefer not to deny entry to the bathroom while minding their own business.
This tale of uninvited guests serves as an important reminder to check your bathrooms for unanticipated visitors before getting too comfortable. After all, if a woman can call the police about a snake, one begs to wonder what other household disturbances might prompt a 911 call: a rogue spider? A particularly chatty toilet?
As the day drew to a close in Columbia, the woman settled back into her routine—a little less happy in her little kingdom of tile, now forever marked as “Bano de Serpientes.” Here’s to hoping she returns home to find lingering scents of tranquility instead of a tale for the ages. Thanks, but no thanks, to the local wildlife!
