**BREAKING: ALLIGATOR-GATE ROCKS GEORGIA COAST AS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT REPTILE VANISHES**
In a bizarre incident that has left authorities scrambling and wildlife experts baffled, a Pennsylvania man claims that his beloved emotional support alligator, Wally, has gone missing in the coastal marshes of Georgia.
According to 32-year-old local resident, Dave Wilson, Wally, a 4-foot-long, 50-pound alligator, slipped out of his customized pet carrier while Wilson was visiting the famous Wormsloe Historic Site near Savannah. Wilson, who suffers from “severe anxiety and a mild obsession with reptiles,” insists that Wally is not just any ordinary alligator, but a certified emotional support animal.
“I was just sitting on a bench, eating a turkey sandwich and contemplating the meaning of life, when I turned my back for one second and Wally made a break for it,” a distraught Wilson explained. “I mean, he’s an alligator, what can I do? He’s got a PhD in Sneaky Reptile Escapes!”
As news of the missing alligator spread, local residents and tourists alike have taken to social media to share photos and sightings of the errant reptile. Some claim to have spotted Wally swimming in the nearby marshes, while others insist they’ve seen him basking in the sun on a golf course.
The Georgia Department of Natural Resources has issued a statement urging residents to remain calm and to “not approach Wally, unless you’re prepared to be lunch.” Wildlife experts have been dispatched to the area, armed with an arsenal of turtle traps, alligator whispers, and an endless supply of snacks.
Meanwhile, Wilson has offered a $1,000 reward for any information leading to Wally’s safe return. “I’m offering a reward, a free hug, and a lifetime supply of swamp-themed puns to anyone who can bring Wally back home,” he pleaded.
As the search for Wally continues, local businesses are cashing in on the phenomenon. “Wally’s Missing” t-shirts, mugs, and even alligator-shaped keychains have become hot commodities.
In related news, the Wormsloe Historic Site has announced plans to install alligator-proof fencing and a “Wally- watch” surveillance system to prevent future reptilian escapes.
Stay tuned for further updates on this developing story, and remember: if you see Wally, just stay calm, and try not to become his next meal!
