**BREAKING: PANIC SETS IN AS MYSTERY “ANGEL OF DEATH” DESCENDS UPON LAS VEGAS, TURNS OUT TO BE JUST SPACE GUYS WITH A SHINY ROCKET**
Las Vegas, NV – In a heart-stopping, spine-tingling, and downright terrifying turn of events, residents of Las Vegas and the surrounding areas were treated to a breathtaking sight last night as a massive, blazing streak of light illuminated the evening sky. The phenomenon, which was seen by thousands of stunned onlookers, sparked widespread panic, with many convinced that the apocalypse had finally arrived.
“I was driving home from the buffet when I saw it,” said local resident, Jane Doe. “I thought for sure it was the end of the world. I mean, I’ve seen some crazy things in my time, but this was something else. I started screaming and my cat ran out of the car.”
As the minutes ticked by, speculation ran rampant on social media, with many taking to Twitter to share their theories. “Alien invasion!” tweeted @VegasVibes23. “The rapture has come!” posted @BibleThumper3000. “It’s a giant, glowing dildo!” joked @NotImpressed4Life.
But, as it often does, reality eventually set in. And by reality, I mean a bunch of nerds in SpaceX t-shirts.
It turns out that the mysterious streak of light was, in fact, a SpaceX rocket launching into orbit. Yes, folks, it was just Elon Musk and his team of genius billionaires doing their thing.
“We’re just glad no one was too traumatized,” said a SpaceX spokesperson. “We’re used to people freaking out when we launch our rockets, but this one seemed particularly… enthusiastic.”
The rocket in question was carrying a payload of satellites and, um, probably some snacks. We’re not really sure, but it was definitely some important stuff.
As the people of Las Vegas breathed a collective sigh of relief, many couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. I mean, who doesn’t love a good alien invasion every now and then?
“I was really hoping it was the end of the world,” said local resident, John Smith. “I’ve been practicing my ‘I’m a zombie’ face in the mirror for weeks.”
In related news, the city’s apocalypse supply stores reported a surge in sales of canned goods and batteries. Just in case.
