**BREAKING: BALLOON APOCALYPSE STRIKES WASHINGTON AS 155 ROGUE ORBS WREAK HAVOC ON POWER GRID**
In a desperate bid to prevent a catastrophe of epic proportions, utility officials in Washington are issuing a stern warning to residents: **DO NOT, REPEAT, DO NOT RELEASE MYLAR BALLOONS INTO THE WILD ON NEW YEAR’S EVE**, lest they unleash a torrent of chaos and destruction upon the unsuspecting populace.
According to sources, a staggering 155 discarded balloons were collected by brave workers over the past 12 months, a number so alarming that it’s left officials quaking in their boots. “We’re talking about a ticking time bomb of tangled, shiny menace,” said a frantic utility spokesperson. “One wrong move, and those balloons could short circuit the entire power grid, plunging the city into darkness and pandemonium!”
The consequences of such a disaster are too terrible to contemplate. Imagine it: no lights, no heat, no Netflix. The very fabric of society could unravel. And it all starts with a seemingly harmless Mylar balloon, carelessly released into the wild.
“We’ve seen it happen before,” warned the spokesperson, shuddering at the memory. “A single balloon can travel miles, picking up speed and destructive power as it goes. It’s like a tiny, metallic tornado, leaving a trail of devastation in its wake.”
So, as the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve, Washington residents are urged to contain their celebratory zeal and find alternative, balloon-free ways to mark the occasion. The fate of the city may depend on it.
**SAFETY TIPS:**
* Refrain from releasing Mylar balloons, no matter how tempting it may be.
* If you must celebrate, use balloons made of a safer material, like… paper?
* If a rogue balloon does come your way, do not approach it. Call the balloon hotline immediately.
By following these simple guidelines, we can all do our part to prevent a balloon-related catastrophe and ensure a safe, joyful New Year for all.
