**BREAKING: VIRGINIA WOMAN STRIKES GOLD…LITERALLY!**
In a stunning turn of events, a Virginia woman has won the **BIGGEST JACKPOT OF THE CENTURY** – a whopping $1 MILLION DOLLARS – from a Powerball ticket her thoughtful son gave her as a parting gift before he jetted off on a month-long vacation to…well, who cares where, it’s a month-long vacation!
According to sources close to the lottery-winning lady (okay, we made that up), 52-year-old Karen Jenkins was on cloud nine when her son, 25-year-old Alex, handed her the ticket and said, “Hey, Mom, I’m heading out on a trip. You know, to get some sun, sand, and a serious case of wanderlust. Oh, and here’s a lottery ticket, just in case I don’t come back with a souvenir.”
Karen, being the proud and supportive mom that she is, promptly stuck the ticket in her purse and forgot all about it. That is, until she decided to check the numbers on a whim…and promptly fainted.
“I was making lunch when I saw the numbers on TV,” Karen recalled in an exclusive interview. “I thought I was hallucinating from too much caffeine, but then I checked the ticket again…and again…and again…and I just about lost my mind!”
The winning ticket, purchased at a local convenience store, matched all five white balls and the Powerball, netting Karen a cool $1 MILLION DOLLARS.
When asked what she plans to do with her newfound fortune, Karen exclaimed, “Well, first things first, I’m buying a yacht…and a private island…and a team of personal shoppers…and…oh, who are we kidding? I’M BUYING A SMALL COUNTRY!”
Alex, the thoughtful son, was unavailable for comment, but sources close to the family confirm that he’s enjoying his vacation and has already started working on his tan.
In related news, the convenience store where the winning ticket was purchased is offering a special “I’m a Lottery Winner” discount on all snacks and drinks.
