**BREAKING: Baaaaad News for SUV Owner!**
In a bizarre incident that has left residents of a small Colorado mountain town in stitches, a herd of mischievous goats somehow managed to not only infiltrate a parking lot, but also locate the one vehicle they just couldn’t resist: a sleek, black SUV.
Eyewitnesses claim that the marauding mob of approximately 20 rambunctious goats, led by a feisty leader named “Billy,” descended upon the unsuspecting vehicle like a furry, four-legged tornado.
“It was like they had a vendetta against that SUV,” said local resident, Jane Doe. “I mean, I’ve seen goats eat just about anything – shoes, trash cans, even a neighbor’s prized rose garden – but this was on a whole different level.”
According to witnesses, the goat gang converged on the parking lot at approximately 3:00 AM, with Billy at the helm. The SUV, which was parked in a relatively secluded area, was apparently too enticing a target to resist.
“It was like they were performing some sort of coordinated attack,” said Sheriff John Smith, who arrived on the scene to survey the damage. “They just trampled the poor thing – tires, hood, trunk, you name it. It’s a miracle they didn’t try to eat the wheels.”
The SUV’s owner, who wishes to remain anonymous, was left visibly shaken by the incident. “I mean, I’ve heard of goats being a little feisty, but this is just ridiculous,” the owner said. “I guess I’ll just have to add ‘goat-proof’ to my list of car insurance claims.”
As for Billy and his crew, they were last seen roaming free in the nearby mountains, no doubt plotting their next move.
**UPDATE:** The local animal control has issued a warning to residents: keep your vehicles parked in goat-proof enclosures, or risk facing the wrath of Billy and his gang!
