BREAKING: 90-Year-Old Man Named World’s Oldest Truck Driver, Claims He’s Still Got the “Need for Speed”! In a shocking turn of events, 90-year-old Harold “The Wheel Whisperer” Wilson has been officially recognized as the world’s oldest truck driver by Guinness World Records

Posted on by Poor Dirt Richard
Estimated read time 2 min read

**BREAKING: 90-Year-Old Man Named World’s Oldest Truck Driver, Claims He’s Still Got the “Need for Speed”!**

In a shocking turn of events, 90-year-old Harold “The Wheel Whisperer” Wilson has been officially recognized as the world’s oldest truck driver by Guinness World Records. And we’re not kidding, folks – this guy is still hauling cargo like it’s 1959!

According to sources, Harold has been driving trucks for an astonishing 65 years, logging over 3 million miles and delivering everything from diapers to dinosaur-sized rubber chickens. When asked about his secret to staying young, Harold quipped, “I’ve got a Ph.D. in Truckin’, and my thesis was ‘How to Stay Awake During Long Hauls’.”

Harold’s impressive resume includes:

* Delivering a load of fresh produce to the Super Bowl
* Outrunning a tornado in his trusty Peterbilt 389
* Convincing a group of highway patrolmen to join him for a game of “I Spy” during a routine traffic stop

But don’t just take our word for it – Harold’s got the awards to prove it! He’s been named “Trucker of the Century” by the Trucking Association of America and has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame for his contributions to the world of trucking.

When asked about his plans for retirement, Harold laughed and said, “Retirement? Ha! I’m just getting started. I’ve got a route to finish and a reputation to uphold. Besides, I’ve got a date with a delivery of rubber chickens to the world’s largest chicken nugget factory – and I’m not going to let a little thing like age get in the way!”

So, the next time you’re stuck in traffic, just remember: Harold’s out there, trucking along, and still got the pedal to the metal!

**UPDATE:** Harold has just announced that he’s launching his own line of geriatric-friendly truck accessories, including reading glasses with built-in GPS and a line of denture-friendly energy bars. Stay tuned for more updates on this developing story!

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Poor Dirt Richard

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