**BREAKING: HOT DOGGED APOCALYPSE STRIKES INTERSTATE-83**
Harrisburg, PA – In a bizarre and hilarious incident that has left residents of Central Pennsylvania scratching their heads, a massive pileup involving dozens of vehicles and a tractor-trailer carrying a shipment of frozen hot dogs has brought traffic on Interstate-83 to a grinding halt.
Eyewitnesses describe the scene as “absolute chaos” as thousands of frozen hot dogs went flying onto the highway, covering the asphalt in a slippery, savory mess.
“I was driving to work when suddenly I was surrounded by a blizzard of hot dogs,” said commuter, Jane Doe. “I mean, I’ve seen some weird things on the road before, but this was like something out of a cartoon. I swerved to avoid one and ended up hitting another. It was like a hot dog-induced domino effect!”
The multi-vehicle collision, which involved at least 20 cars, 3 trucks, and a motorcycle, has left several people injured, but miraculously, no one was killed… except for the dignity of the hot dogs, which were left scattered and mangled across the highway.
“I was driving behind a car that had its windshield smashed by a particularly large hot dog,” said another eyewitness. “I mean, it was like the hot dog was launched from a cannon. I pulled over and got out of my car to take a selfie with the hot dog-covered highway. It was like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!”
The Pennsylvania Department of Transportation (PennDOT) has confirmed that the hot dogs were being transported from a local meatpacking plant to a food festival in Baltimore when the tractor-trailer jackknifed and lost its cargo.
“We’re not sure what happened, but it appears the truck’s refrigeration unit malfunctioned, causing the hot dogs to freeze in place and then suddenly become airborne,” said a PennDOT spokesperson. “We’re just lucky no one was seriously hurt… or hungry.”
The highway has been closed in both directions, with traffic being diverted onto local roads. Crews are working to clean up the mess and restore order to the usually busy thoroughfare.
In the meantime, local residents are capitalizing on the situation, selling “I survived the Great Hot Dog Crash of 2023” t-shirts and hot dog-themed merchandise.
As one resident quipped, “Who needs a parade when you can have a hot dog party on the side of the road?”
