BREAKING: MASSACHUSETTS MAN STRIKES POWERBALL JACKPOT… TWICE!
In a bizarre and hilarious turn of events, 32-year-old Massachusetts resident, Dave Wilson, has won not one, but TWO separate Powerball prizes, each worth a whopping $1 million! And the best part? He didn’t even mean to do it!
According to sources close to the Wilson family (okay, it was just Dave’s mom), Dave was trying to buy a single ticket for the Powerball drawing, but in a moment of sheer genius (or utter clumsiness), he accidentally clicked the “buy now” button… TWICE!
“I was just trying to get it over with before I went to bed,” said Dave in an exclusive interview. “Next thing I know, I’ve got two tickets and I’m thinking, ‘Well, I guess I’m just really lucky… or really stupid!'”
As fate would have it, Dave’s duplicate ticket purchase turned out to be the best $2 mistake he’s ever made. When he checked his tickets, he discovered that both had matched the winning numbers, netting him a staggering $2 MILLION DOLLARS!
“I couldn’t believe my eyes!” exclaimed Dave. “I thought I was hallucinating from too much coffee. But nope, I was just rich… twice!”
The Massachusetts Lottery Commission confirmed that this is the first recorded instance of someone winning two separate prizes on the same drawing. “We’re not sure if we should be congratulating Dave on his incredible luck or fining him for trying to game the system,” said a spokesperson.
Dave, who plans to use his winnings to buy a yacht, a private island, and a lifetime supply of nacho cheese, remains humble about his good fortune. “Hey, it could happen to anyone,” he said with a chuckle. “I mean, who hasn’t accidentally bought two Powerball tickets, right?”
In related news, the Massachusetts Lottery Commission has announced plans to introduce a new ticket option: the “I’m-a-genius-I-guess” feature, which allows players to accidentally buy multiple tickets at once.
