**BEARS WREAK HAVOC IN WINSTED: FURRY FURY UNLEASHED ON UNSUSPECTING MOTORIST**
WINSTED, CT – In a bizarre incident that has left residents of this quiet Connecticut town scratching their heads, two rambunctious black bears somehow managed to get themselves trapped inside a car – and then proceeded to trash the interior like a pair of furry, four-legged rockstars.
According to eyewitnesses, the adult bear and its mischievous cub apparently wandered into the vehicle through an open window (because, why not?) and helped themselves to a snack of discarded fast food wrappers and a mangled CD collection.
“It was like they had a bear-party in there,” said a shaken local resident, who wished to remain anonymous. “I mean, I’ve seen some weird things in my time, but bears redecorating a car? That’s a new one.”
State officials confirmed that the duo, estimated to be around 200 pounds of ursine chaos, entered the vehicle on July 15 and made themselves at home. Witnesses described the scene as “absolute pandemonium” as the bears smashed through the dashboard, ripped upholstery, and generally made a mess of the car’s interior.
“It was like they were trying to get to the honey compartment or something,” quipped a wildlife expert, who was called to the scene. “I mean, who needs a GPS when you’ve got a bear with a sweet tooth?”
The car’s owner, who wishes to remain anonymous, was understandably distressed by the destruction. “I mean, I knew I had to get the interior detailed, but I didn’t realize I had to call in a bear-removal service too,” they said, shaking their head.
As for the bears, they apparently made their escape through a side window (because, again, why not?) and were last seen lumbering off into the nearby woods, leaving behind a trail of destruction and a few curious onlookers.
The incident has left local residents on high alert, with some calling for increased bear-proofing measures and others simply shrugging and saying, “Well, that’s just Connecticut for you.”
In related news, local car insurance rates are expected to skyrocket, and bear-themed merchandise sales are reportedly through the roof.
