**BREAKING: Virginia Zoo Denies Reports of Rogue Gorilla on the Loose, Claims to Have No Gorillas to Begin With**
In a bizarre turn of events, the Virginia Zoo in Norfolk has issued a statement assuring the public that not only are all of its animals safely behind bars, but also that it doesn’t actually have any gorillas to speak of.
Rumors had been circulating like wildfire through social media that a massive, hairy, and apparently disgruntled gorilla had escaped from the zoo and was roaming the streets of Norfolk, causing widespread panic and prompting frantic calls to 911.
But zoo officials say those reports were completely fabricated, and that they’re not even sure where the rumors came from.
“We’re not sure what’s more surprising, the fact that people thought we had gorillas or that they thought we’d let one loose on the city,” said zoo spokesperson, Jane Smith. “To set the record straight, we don’t have any gorillas at the Virginia Zoo. We have monkeys, bears, and a bunch of other cool animals, but no gorillas. So, you can all breathe a sigh of relief.”
When asked if the zoo had considered adding gorillas to its collection, Smith replied, “Well, we do have a lot of space, but I think we’d have to get some new furniture. Those guys are huge! Plus, have you seen their hair? It’s like, whoa.”
The zoo has offered a reward for anyone who can provide information on the origin of the fake gorilla sightings, but so far, no one has come forward.
In the meantime, residents of Norfolk can rest easy knowing that there are no rogue gorillas on the loose, and that the Virginia Zoo is still home to a wide variety of amazing animals – just no gorillas.
