**BREAKING: ROGUE LONGHORN WREAKS HAVOC ON PENNSYLVANIA HIGHWAY**
In a bizarre incident that has left authorities and onlookers alike in stitches, a sassy Texas longhorn steer named “Bubba” pulled off the ultimate escape act on a Pennsylvania highway yesterday evening.
According to eyewitnesses, Bubba, who was being transported in a trailer, suddenly and inexplicably decided he’d had enough of his captive life. Using his razor-sharp horns, he managed to undo the latch on the back of the trailer, sending the door swinging open like a cowboy saloon.
With a fierce “Mooooo!” Bubba made a break for it, dashing out of the trailer and onto the asphalt of Highway 222, leaving a trail of stunned motorists and livestock handlers in his wake.
“I was driving to get a soft pretzel when suddenly, out of nowhere, this longhorn comes bounding out of a trailer and starts running down the highway,” said local resident, Karen Jenkins. “I slammed on my brakes and nearly spilled my coffee. I mean, who expects to see a steer in a fleece-lined cowboy hat on the side of the road?”
Bubba, estimated to be around 1,500 pounds of pure, unadulterated Texas beef, weaved in and out of traffic, narrowly avoiding collisions with several cars and a motorcycle. Witnesses described the scene as “absolute chaos” and “a real-life game of Frogger.”
“I tried to stop him, but he was like a furry, horned bullet,” said Pennsylvania State Trooper, John Smith. “I’ve never seen anything like it. I’ve seen deer, I’ve seen turkeys, but a longhorn on the loose? That’s a new one.”
After a thrilling 3-mile chase, Bubba finally came to a stop at a roadside diner, where he apparently had a hankering for some waffles and maple syrup.
“I was just about to serve a plate of pancakes when this steer walks into the diner and starts sniffing out the dessert menu,” said diner owner, Debbie Wilson. “I swear, he was looking for the waffle iron. We had to call in a team of animal control officers to coax him out with some fresh hay and a belly rub.”
Bubba was eventually corralled and returned to his grateful owner, who was relieved to have his prized longhorn back safe and sound.
As for Bubba, he’s already planning his next great escape. Sources close to the steer confirm that he’s been secretly taking horn-wrestling lessons and is plotting a daring breakout from the local petting zoo.
Stay tuned for further updates on this developing story, and in the meantime, keep those cowboy hats securely fastened, folks!
