Googly Eyes: The Latest Threat to Art Appreciation in Oregon In an unprecedented move that has the local art community shaking in their proverbial boots, the city council of Eugene, Oregon, has officially requested that residents cease their wildly creative yet apparently offensive practice of adorning public sculptures with googly eyes

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**Googly Eyes: The Latest Threat to Art Appreciation in Oregon**

In an unprecedented move that has the local art community shaking in their proverbial boots, the city council of Eugene, Oregon, has officially requested that residents cease their wildly creative yet apparently offensive practice of adorning public sculptures with googly eyes. Yes, you read that right. The city, long admired for its artistic spirit and bohemian vibe, has taken a firm stance against this horrific assault on public art.

“Googly eyes are not funny,” declared Mayor Jane Smith at a press conference, her voice trembling with despair. “We must maintain the integrity of our cherished sculptures. Do we want to live in a world where our beloved artworks become puppets for laughter? I think not!” This bold proclamation has sent shockwaves through the community, leaving residents to grapple with the harsh reality that their whimsically enhanced statues must return to their unadorned and humorless existence.

That’s right, Eugene. Gone are the days when locals could forge deep emotional connections with a sculpture by simply adding a sprightly pair of googly eyes. According to art aficionados, this creative expression has tarnished the purity of the artistic vision. No longer can one gaze upon the majestic “Bronze Bear” without envisioning it as a silly creature brought to life by the charm of plastic orbs. Truly tragic!

Local artist and self-proclaimed “Googly Eye Activist,” Bob Thompson expressed his disappointment, saying, “I mean, is this really the hill we want to die on? The sculptures were already lifeless and cold! A bit of whimsy was the least we could do.” It’s hard to imagine how society will recover from the absence of the comical transformations that invited laughter and joy into the daily lives of Eugene pedestrians.

Residents have responded to the city’s request with a mix of humor and disbelief. One local, Jenna Clearwater, commented, “Next they’ll be banning hats on statues. What’s next, no more chalk art on sidewalks? Someone might see a semblance of joy and we can’t have that in our community!” Jenna’s words echo the frustration of many Oregonians, who ponder the absurdity of life without their gooey-eyed artistic contributions to culture.

Still, the city council remains resolute. The googly eye phenomenon has reportedly led to widespread chaos—endless Snapchat stories of mischief and what they deem a “distracting spectacle” that could very well lead to art-induced confusion. “One minute, you’re looking at a statue of a distinguished civil rights leader, and the next, it’s staring back at you with silly eyes. How can we have serious discussions about art when people are too busy guffawing?” Mayor Smith lamented.

In light of this dark turn of events, citizens are banding together to fight against this sudden crackdown on creativity. An online petition, titled “Keep the Eyes on Our Art,” has garnered over a hundred signatures in support of continued googly eye installations. Maybe a public hearing is necessary to allow all sides to be heard—or at least allow the art to keep its fun side.

So, Eugene, brace yourself for a brighter, but decidedly less amusing, future devoid of expressive googly-eyed sculptures. Who knew that a little humor could threaten the very foundation of artistic integrity? It’s a true tragedy for our times.

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