Public Park in New Jersey Closed Down for Three Days to Help Alligator Find Its Way Home
In a stunning display of animal-loving idiocy, police in New Jersey have shut down a public park until further notice to allow an alligator to find its way home. That’s right folks, the same park where you could have taken your children for a day of fun in the sun is now off-limits because some reptile had the audacity to escape from its little pen.
Apparently, the alligator, which was being kept as a pet by some deranged individual, managed to get loose and is currently on the lam. Because it’s not bad enough that we have to worry about alligators roaming the streets of New Jersey, now we have to keep them from taking over our parks too.
Of course, rather than just tranquilizing the beast and hauling it back to its rightful owner, authorities have decided that it’s much more important to give the alligator some time to explore the park and maybe even have a snack or two before they catch it. Who knows, maybe they’ll even set up a little welcoming committee with some fresh goats and chickens to make it feel at home.
But seriously, what’s the harm in letting a wild alligator roam around a public park? It’s not like it’s going to attack anyone or anything… except that it could. And has.
Sure, it’s true that alligators are generally harmless unless provoked, but why take the chance? Especially when there are children running around who might not know any better than to poke or prod at the scaly beast with a stick.
Instead of closing down an entire park, how about we focus on finding the alligator and getting it back to where it belongs? Maybe that would be a better use of our tax dollars than paying a bunch of cops to stand around and twiddle their thumbs all day.
But no, let’s just let the alligator have its way and hope for the best. Maybe we’ll get lucky and it’ll just wander off on its own. Or maybe we’ll get eaten. Who knows?
In any case, the fact that a public park has been closed down for three days all because of one stray alligator just goes to show you how stupid we as a society can be sometimes. Let’s hope we learn from this stupidity and start putting our resources to better use in the future.
