**BREAKING: FEATHERED MENACE BROUGHT TO JUSTICE!**
In a daring operation that will go down in history as one of the greatest wildlife coups of all time, a brazen Harris’ hawk was finally captured yesterday evening, bringing an end to its weeks-long reign of terror in the quaint English village of Littleton-on-the-Marsh.
Eyewitnesses described the hawk as a “flying ninja” that had been wreaking havoc on the sleepy community, with estimates suggesting it had launched a staggering 50 dive-bombing attacks on unsuspecting villagers.
“It was like it had a personal vendetta against our postman,” said Agnes Pembly, 62, a local resident who claimed to have been dive-bombed by the hawk not once, not twice, but THRICE. “I mean, I’ve seen some aggressive birds in my time, but this one was on a whole different level. I’m just lucky I didn’t lose my toupee!”
The hawk, described as “medium-sized but with a huge attitude,” was finally caught by local resident and self-proclaimed “wildlife whisperer” Nigel Fletcher, 45, who used a combination of cunning, bravery, and a few well-placed chicken nuggets to lure the bird into a trap.
“I’ve been watching this hawk for weeks, studying its movements, and I knew it was only a matter of time before I could catch it,” said Fletcher, beaming with pride. “I mean, I’m not just a farmer, I’m a hawk-wrangler extraordinaire! I’ve got the certificate to prove it!”
As news of the hawk’s capture spread, villagers emerged from their homes to celebrate, waving flags and banners emblazoned with the slogan “Hawk-free at last!”
But not everyone is celebrating. Local bird enthusiast and hawk aficionado, Emily Wilson, 28, expressed her outrage at the capture, claiming that the hawk was simply “exercising its natural instincts” and that the villagers were being “dramatic.”
“I’m shocked, SHOCKED, that the villagers would resort to such drastic measures,” said Wilson, her voice shaking with indignation. “I mean, what’s next? Capturing a squirrel for stealing my picnic blanket?”
Despite the controversy, the hawk is currently being held in a secure location, where it will undergo rehabilitation before being released back into the wild.
In the meantime, the villagers of Littleton-on-the-Marsh can rest easy, knowing that their community is once again safe from the aerial antics of this feathered menace.
**UPDATE**: The hawk has just been spotted on Instagram, posing regally on a branch, with the caption: “Just got out of the slammer and I’m already plotting my next move… #HawkLife #FowlPlay”
