**BREAKING: Local Woman Receives Job Application Back After Whopping 49 Years, Still Not Hired**
In a bizarre incident that has left the small town of Oakdale abuzz, a woman received her job application back from a company she applied to nearly five decades ago. Yes, you read that right – 49 years ago.
According to sources, 72-year-old Agnes Jenkins had applied for a position at “Bubba’s BBQ Shack” in 1974, when she was a spry 23 years old. She had confidently submitted her resume, cover letter, and application, expecting to land her dream job as a waitress.
Fast forward to the present day, and Agnes received a surprise in the mail – her original job application, returned to her with a note that read: “Sorry, we’re still looking for someone with more experience… and a better haircut.”
Agnes was flabbergasted, to say the least. “I was just a young thing, with big hair and even bigger dreams,” she exclaimed. “I had totally forgotten about that application. I’m not sure if I should be impressed by their dedication to thoroughness or concerned about their snail-mail-based time capsule.”
When reached for comment, the CEO of Bubba’s BBQ Shack, Bubba himself, explained that the company’s HR department had been, shall we say, “reluctant to let go” of old applications. “We’ve been holding onto those files for, um, ‘historical purposes,'” he chuckled. “We didn’t think anyone would actually be interested in responding to an application from the Nixon administration.”
Agnes, still in shock, has decided to write a strongly-worded letter to the company, inquiring about the status of her application and requesting an update on their hiring process. When asked if she was still interested in working at Bubba’s BBQ Shack, Agnes quipped, “Well, I’m not getting any younger, and I’ve got a killer recipe for BBQ sauce. Count me in!”
In a surprising twist, Bubba’s BBQ Shack has announced plans to offer Agnes a “vintage” interview, complete with a vinyl record player and a side of retro-themed hospitality. Who knows? Maybe Agnes will finally get her chance to shine – 49 years later.
