**London Comedy Club Enforces Strict Ban on ‘Frozen Faces’ to Uphold the Art of Laughter**
In an unprecedented move that’s really going to shake up the world of stand-up comedy, a popular London comedy club has decided to ban audience members sporting “frozen faces from Botox.” Yes, that’s right folks – thanks to the great Botox crisis of 2023, laughter will now officially come with a stern warning: “Must show some semblance of emotion.”
The club owner, publicly dubbed the “Harbinger of Humor,” announced this groundbreaking policy on social media, claiming it was all for the greater good of comedy. “We owe it to the comedians to ensure that everyone can respond to their jokes,” he said, making sure to sprinkle in some noble-sounding platitudes amid the chuckles from his privileged perch. “After all, how can one enjoy a night of laughs if you’re too busy looking like a mannequin on a bad day?”
This courageous stand against the eyebrow-free population is no small feat! Imagine attending a comedy show and finding a sea of faces that resemble the back of a cereal box! It would be a crime against the art of comedy not to enforce a “no Botox” rule. Who wants to hear a punchline land with a dull thud in a room full of expressionless attendees? It’s like trying to enjoy a musical while everyone around you is confidently serenading you with a soundless aria.
But fear not aspiring audience members, new policies are on the horizon, promising to usher in an exciting era of genuine responses. The club is reportedly planning to conduct emotional assessments at the door, which is bound to be all the rage. “When you walk in, we’ll ask for your last five laughs and your finest ‘gasp’ response on the Spot-o-Meter,” our ever-so-innovative owner explained. And, if you fail to meet their emotional criteria, it’s straight out the door for you. Who would want to look at an audience who can’t even muster a single flicker of amusement?
The club’s comedians seem delighted with this incredible innovation. After all, isn’t it hard to deliver a punchline when your audience is just a collection of poker faces? “I’ve always wanted to perform in front of people who can show genuine emotion!” said one enthusiastic comic. “The last thing we need is to see a sea of faces that could double as a photo-shopped magazine cover. Who wants to engage with that?”
Yet, while the frozen faces have been called out and put in their place, critics of the ban have emerged from the ether, arguing that this new law stifles personal freedoms and discriminates against individuals who have experienced serious frown lines. “What’s next? Banning people with bad hair days?” wondered an outraged Botox user as they left the club, struggling to express their indignation through a rather limited range of facial motions.
With all these perfectly expressionless faces sidelined from the world of comedy, one can only hope they don’t congregate in mass numbers and form a support group of sorts. If they do, I’m sure it’ll be just like every comedy show they ever attended— a collection of blank expressions and awkward chuckles! After all, nothing says “comedy” quite like an audience with the emotional depth of a dish of gelatin.
