**BREAKING: GIANT YELLOW PYTHON ON THE LOOSE IN BOSTON, RESIDENTS ADVISED TO STAY INDOORS AND HIDE UNDER BEDS**
In a bizarre and terrifying turn of events, a gargantuan yellow python, estimated to be over 100 feet long and 10 feet in diameter, has been spotted slithering through the streets of Boston, leaving a trail of destruction and bewildered onlookers in its wake.
Eyewitnesses describe the massive serpent as having “the girth of a small car” and “eyes that glow like two bright yellow headlights.” The snake, which has been identified as a rare and highly aggressive species of python, has been spotted making its way down Commonwealth Avenue, sending pedestrians running for cover and cars screeching to a halt.
“I was just walking to get a coffee when suddenly this…this…THING comes out of nowhere!” exclaimed local resident, Jane Doe. “I mean, I’ve seen some big snakes in my day, but this one was like something out of a bad sci-fi movie. I’m pretty sure I saw it swallow a parked car whole.”
Authorities have issued a city-wide alert, urging residents to remain indoors and to keep all doors and windows sealed. “We are working to contain the situation, but in the meantime, we advise everyone to exercise extreme caution,” said Boston Mayor, Marty Walsh. “We do not know what kind of damage this snake is capable of, but we are prepared for the worst.”
As the city teeters on the brink of chaos, a team of expert snake handlers has been dispatched to the scene to try and capture the behemoth reptile. “We’re talking about a snake of biblical proportions here,” said Dr. Jane Smith, a leading herpetologist. “I’ve studied snakes my whole life, and I’ve never seen anything like this. We’re not even sure if it’s safe to approach it.”
Meanwhile, residents are bracing themselves for the worst, with many stocking up on supplies and building makeshift snake-proof shelters. “I’m not taking any chances,” said local resident, John Q. Public. “I’ve got my trusty can of Spam and a baseball bat. Bring it on, snake!”
Stay tuned for further updates on this developing story, and in the meantime, stay safe, Boston!
