**BREAKING: Dummy-Gate Rocks Washington State as Cops Crack Down on Creativity**
In a bizarre crackdown on traffic trickery, the Washington State Patrol has revealed that not one, but TWO brazen drivers were caught using dummies as passengers to fake their way into coveted carpool lanes over the course of just 48 hours.
The first offender, a 32-year-old man from Seattle, was pulled over on I-405 when troopers noticed his “passenger” seemed suspiciously still. Upon further investigation, officers discovered that the “passenger” was, in fact, a remarkably lifelike ventriloquist’s dummy named “Bertrand.”
“I just thought it was a great way to beat the traffic,” the driver, who wished to remain anonymous, told authorities. “I mean, who wouldn’t want to cruise down the highway in the carpool lane with a trusty sidekick like Bertrand?”
But Bertrand’s joyride was short-lived, as the driver was slapped with a hefty fine and a stern warning.
Undeterred, another driver, a 29-year-old woman from Bellevue, decided to try her luck just a few days later. She was caught on I-90 with a dummy strapped into the passenger seat, sporting a fetching pair of sunglasses and a fedora.
When questioned by authorities, the woman claimed she was “just trying to give her dummy, ‘Steve,’ a fun day out.” However, troopers were not buying it – and Steve was left looking rather foolish as his owner was ticketed and towed.
“We’re seeing a disturbing trend of people trying to game the system,” said a spokesperson for the Washington State Patrol. “Let’s be clear: dummies are not acceptable passengers, folks! If you want to ride in the carpool lane, you’ll need to bring a real person along for the ride.”
As for Bertrand and Steve, their respective owners are reportedly seeking counseling to address their questionable life choices.
