**BREAKING: River Turns Toxic Shamrock Green, City Officials Blame Leprechauns for “Unintentional Environmental Prank”**
In a bizarre and alarming turn of events, the city’s river has transformed into a glowing kelly green, signaling the start of the annual St. Patrick’s Day celebrations in a most…unconventional way.
Eyewitnesses claim that the river, which was a dull grey just hours before, suddenly and inexplicably turned a vibrant, radioactive-looking green, sending shockwaves of excitement throughout the community.
“I was just sipping my coffee and getting ready for work when I looked out the window and thought, ‘Has the world gone mad?'” said local resident, Jane Doe. “I mean, I’ve seen some weird things in my time, but a glowing green river? That’s a new one!”
As it turns out, the city’s notoriously mischievous leprechaun population has been suspected of pulling off the prank, which has left environmental officials scrambling to issue warnings and reassure residents that the water is, in fact, still safe to…well, not drink.
“We’re not sure what kind of magic they’re using, but it’s definitely not your average, everyday river water,” said Dr. Emily O’Connor, a leading expert in environmental magic. “We’re working closely with local authorities to ensure that the river doesn’t turn into a giant, glowing pint of Guinness…although, that does sound like a pretty fun party.”
The city’s annual St. Patrick’s Day festivities kicked off shortly after the river’s transformation, with parades, parties, and plenty of green attire making an appearance.
When asked for comment, the city’s mayor was seen sporting a bright green beard and a “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” t-shirt, and simply shrugged, saying, “Hey, it’s St. Patrick’s Day – what’s a little environmental magic between friends?”
Stay tuned for further updates on this developing story, and don’t forget to wear your green – you never know when the river might decide to turn a different color!
