**BREAKING: Shocking Revelation Rocks Nation as Mysterious Ice Chunk Saga Takes Bizarre Turn**
In a stunning twist, the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) announced yesterday that the massive chunk of ice that CRASHED THROUGH THE ROOF OF A FLORIDA HOME IN FEBRUARY, sending shivers down the spines of residents and leaving a gaping hole in the ceiling, did not, in fact, originate from an airplane.
According to sources, the ice chunk, estimated to be roughly the size of a small CAR, came from… (dramatic pause) …a DISGRUNTLED YETI WHO WAS FURIOUSLY HURLING ICE CUBES AT THE MOON!
“It’s a total mystery, but we’re pretty sure it wasn’t an airplane,” said an FAA spokesperson, trying to stifle a grin. “Our top investigators have concluded that the ice chunk was likely dislodged from the frozen tundra of a disgruntled yeti’s lair, deep in the heart of the Rocky Mountains.”
The homeowner, who wishes to remain anonymous, was seen doing the “Ice Chunk Dance” on their front lawn, shouting, “I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT WASN’T MY NEIGHBOR’S FAULT FOR NOT SHOVELING HIS SIDEWALK!”
The FAA has launched a full investigation into the incident, which will undoubtedly involve scouring the countryside for any signs of the rogue yeti. When asked for comment, a local wildlife expert said, “I’m not surprised. I’ve been saying it for years: those yetis are a menace!”
In related news, sales of ice chunk insurance policies have skyrocketed, and the nation’s leading ice cream manufacturers are reporting a surge in demand for their products.
**STAY TUNED FOR FURTHER UPDATES ON THIS DEVELOPING STORY!**
