**BREAKING: SNAKE-GATE ROCKS LONDON’S FISH AND CHIP SCENE**
In a daring rescue operation that has left the nation gasping, a team of fearless animal wranglers was hastily summoned to a bustling fish and chip shop in the heart of London after reports of a slithery serpent on the loose.
Eyewitnesses described the scene as “absolute pandemonium” as a massive “python” was said to have slithered into the popular eatery, sending customers running for cover and screaming “SNAKE! SNAKE!” at the top of their lungs.
“I was just waiting for my cod and chips when suddenly, this…this…THING comes slithering out of nowhere!” exclaimed local resident, Agnes Pembly. “I thought it was the end of the world! I mean, I’ve seen some big eels in my time, but this was a bloomin’ python, I’m sure of it!”
Animal control officers were swiftly dispatched to the scene, armed with an array of snake-catching gadgets and a healthy dose of skepticism. However, upon arrival, they were greeted by a rather…underwhelming sight.
“It was a bit of an anti-climax, to be honest,” said PC Dave Wilson, who led the rescue operation. “The ‘python’ turned out to be a rather small corn snake that had escaped from its owner’s home just a few blocks away.”
The “ferocious beast” – which measured a relatively tame 3 feet in length – was safely corralled and returned to its overjoyed owner, who had been frantically searching high and low for her beloved pet.
“I was worried sick about my little guy, Mr. Slinky!” exclaimed owner, Emily Chen. “I just want to make sure he’s okay and not traumatized by his big adventure. I mean, who needs a python when you have a perfectly good corn snake, eh?”
As for the fish and chip shop patrons, they were left shaken but wiser, with one customer quipping, “Well, at least the fish was still fresh!”
The incident has left local residents in stitches, with many taking to social media to poke fun at the over-the-top response to the “snake in the chip shop.”
“I mean, who needs a snake in the chip shop when you have a perfectly good story to tell?” laughed Pembly. “I’ll be telling this one for years to come – and maybe even starting a snake-themed food truck on the side!”
