**Des Moines Parents Aim to Prevent Candy Crisis: Kids Go Trick-or-Treating for the First Time Since 1938**
Des Moines, Iowa—In a groundbreaking move that has left experts scratching their heads and parents checking their wallets, children in Des Moines will finally be allowed to go trick-or-treating this Halloween for the first time since 1938. Yes, you read that correctly: Des Moines is throwing open the doors of candy commerce and risking their neighborhoods’ sanity after an unexplained absence of 85 years. Residents are bracing themselves for an avalanche of Minions, superheroes, and decapitated princesses descending upon their lawns at the witching hour, eager for sugar-induced chaos.
It seems that, for decades, the city was trapped in a time loop where the only forms of fun were corn mazes and slightly less thrilling “Harvest Festivals.” Rumor has it that the last time trick-or-treating occurred, the town’s mayor was wrestling with 1930s ideologies, claiming that roads were too unsafe, a sudden influx of candy might lead to “sugar socialism,” and the people simply weren’t ready for such a gargantuan leap in children’s freedom.
“This is revolutionary for our city,” stated Mayor Bob Pumpkin, whose commitment to candy liberation has made him the Toddler President of Des Moines. “Sure, safety concerns lingered and who could forget the risk of gluten? But what’s Halloween without the age-old tradition of frantically digging through pillowcases full of unsafe, mass-produced sugar?”
In preparation for the grand return to this radical tradition, Des Moines parents have mobilized to face their greatest challenge since the mysterious disappearance of snack time at school—a decline in trust regarding candy safety. From elaborate pamphlets advocating “Bite-sized Liberty” to community workshops titled “Understanding the Sugar Crawl,” everyone is eager to rekindle the magic that the city has been missing for so long. Local parents are steadily throwing caution to the wind, bravely ignoring endless political debates about whether Reese’s or Skittles are the superior donation in the annual candy haul.
However, safety is still a top concern, and the local “Sweetness Task Force” has tasked itself with creating a comprehensive handbook titled “How Not to Scare the Neighbors.” The handbook will feature chapters on controlling overly enthusiastic children, avoiding porch lights that blink just a tad too fast, and tips on how to avoid being the house that hands out raisins while wearing a balaclava.
As the clock strikes Halloween this year, spectrums of joy will likely ripple through the suburbs, as children—some decked out as pumpkins and others as the latest TikTok sensations—make their way down streets lined with homes that had previously succumbed to Halloween hermitry for generations. Because what truly says community engagement more than lining up for a subjective benefactor of chocolate?
While many may ask if trick-or-treating is a good idea, not even the ghosts of trick-or-treating past can deter the magnificent, candy-fueled spectacle that awaits Des Moines. Who knows? Perhaps this bold step will inspire other towns to follow suit, reforging the most important of childhood traditions—and ensuring a steady flow of dentist visits for the foreseeable future! Happy haunting, Des Moines! Prepare the candy bowls, your time is finally here.
