### Local Library Receives Book Return After Century-Long Hiatus: “It’s About Time!”
**Trenton, NJ** – In what can only be described as a groundbreaking event for the Trenton Public Library, a long-lost copy of William Shakespeare’s *Hamlet* has finally resurfaced, exactly 100 years past its due date. Library officials were reportedly thrilled—likely with an eye roll or two—about the unexpected return.
The tome, which entered the library in the height of the Roaring Twenties, mysteriously vanished into what we can only assume was a Shakespearean time warp. After a century-long vacation among the countless other “unreturned classics,” the book made its grand re-entrance, like a tragic hero returning from the grave.
Reports indicate the book was returned by a local resident, who found it tucked away in an attic alongside a collection of vinyl records and several pairs of bell-bottom jeans. “I just thought I’d check up on some old collectibles,” said the unnamed individual, who, after a brief reflection, admitted they had no idea libraries existed anymore. “I mean, who even reads books these days?”
Library director Marjorie Linton expressed her profound delight at the return. “We’ve been waiting for this masterpiece for a century; it’s not like we have a million other copies floating around,” she quipped. “But hey, better late than never, right? At least it didn’t join the ranks of *Moby Dick* and become a local urban legend.”
The overdue book, now known as “that one annoying item we just can’t seem to catch a break on,” comes with a fine that may or may not be akin to the GDP of a small nation. According to library rules, patrons owe a dime per day for overdue books. However, officials have scrapped that calculation, instead offering a “welcome back” deal: a mere $365,000—until they realized no one actually has that much change lying around.
“I thought there would be some kind of forgiveness policy for returning such an iconic piece of literature,” the rediscoverer mused, eyebrows raised in disbelief. It seems that nostalgia and good intentions don’t quite cover library fees, even if they are garnished with the sweet scent of history.
The occasion prompted the library to put together an overdue book display featuring the returned *Hamlet*, as well as other notable absentees, including *Pride and Prejudice* (also overdue by 75 years) and a copy of *The Great Gatsby* that was last seen swirling in the Jazz Age frenzy. “Perhaps we should just let these books live in peace,” Linton suggested, shaking her head.
To commemorate the momentous occasion, the Trenton Public Library is hosting a special event titled “Where in the World is Shakespeare?!” which will feature interpretative dance, dramatic readings, and, of course, an obligatory “please return your library materials” announcement. Unsurprisingly, this will be followed by a celebratory cupcake-eating contest—because why not toss in some sugar-coated irony along with a hundred years of regret?
As for the long-awaited *Hamlet*, it will soon occupy its rightful place on the shelf—albeit only after a good dusting, a round of applause, and the chance for it to sleep soundly for another hundred years.
