Washington D.C. – In one of the most bizarre political news of the year, a man from Texas has legally changed his name to Literally Anybody Else to apply for the job of President of the United States. And I can’t think of a more fitting name for a person running for a political office than that.
It’s not clear if Literally Anybody Else has any prior experience in politics, or any relevant qualifications for that matter. Maybe he was a city council member or a mayor or even worked in the Senate, as a janitor or something. Who knows? But one thing’s for sure, he’s not Donald Trump, which is already a winner for some.
Sources claim that he was inspired to run for office as he wasn’t impressed with the current crop of candidates, which honestly seems like an inspired choice at this point. But there are also rumors that Literally Anybody Else was motivated by the fact that he was bored with his old name, and that changing it would give him the excitement that he craved. Who cares about that!
Whatever his reasons, it seems like Literally Anybody Else is a rare candidate that doesn’t have to answer any questions about his past or undergo any scrutiny from the press. After all, his name is essentially a blank slate, which makes it difficult for anyone to pin him down on any particular issues. Genius move.
Of course, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows for Literally Anybody Else. If he wins, he will be faced with the immense responsibility of leading the United States, which is no small feat. He’ll have to make decisions that impact millions of people, and some say that his lack of experience could be a liability. But then again, who needs experience when you have a name that everybody can relate to?
At the very least, Literally Anybody Else’s campaign offers a refreshing alternative to the usual mudslinging and name-calling that dominates political discourse. None of that here, folks. Let’s just all agree that we’d prefer somebody else, literally anybody else, to be in charge.
It remains to be seen how Literally Anybody Else’s campaign will fare, but there’s no doubt that he’s already made an impact. Whether he’s a serious candidate or just a big joke, we have to commend him for having the courage to put his name out there and run for the highest office in the land. Or maybe he just enjoys filling out a blank line in forms, who knows.
In conclusion, Literally Anybody Else might just be the perfect candidate that America needs. He’s not affiliated with any party, he has no political baggage, and he’s not Donald Trump. So, let’s all get behind him, or her, or whoever they are. Because when it comes to the presidency, anybody else might just be better than what we’ve got now.
