Residents of Fairfax County, Virginia were undoubtedly shocked –and let’s be honest, thrilled – to learn that landscapers had reportedly found a “presumed Civil War cannonball” in a local yard.
Just imagine it: you’re out there trimming those hedges and all of a sudden –BOOM- you stumble upon a historic discovery. It’s the stuff dreams are made of…or at least, the dreams of really boring people.
According to local news outlets, the suspected cannonball was uncovered earlier this week while workers were performing routine landscaping duties. Apparently, the workers immediately contacted authorities, since finding rusty old war paraphernalia is generally not something the average landscaper is equipped to deal with.
Of course, this begs the question – how many other historic relics are just lying around the yards of America, unnoticed by their clueless owners and waiting to be unearthed by some unsuspecting lawn care professional? The mind boggles.
A spokesperson for Fairfax County Police Department confirmed that a bomb squad had been dispatched to the scene in order to examine the cannonball and ensure that it posed no immediate danger. However, authorities were quick to reassure residents that there was no cause for alarm – unless, of course, you happened to be a Confederate soldier with a particular aversion to heavy metal.
So, what to do with this newfound nugget of historical delight? Well, local officials seem stuck in a bit of a conundrum. On the one hand, they don’t want to do anything hasty or reckless, like accidentally shooting a cannonball through the side of someone’s house while trying to move it. On the other hand, they’re not entirely sure how to handle a cannonball in the first place. It’s not like they can toss it in the trash or donate it to Goodwill.
But seriously folks, it’s hard to believe that a county that’s home to more than a million people and countless businesses and industries can’t come up with a more creative solution to this problem than just…sitting on it. Perhaps a display case in a local museum or historical society would be appropriate? Or maybe they could just toss it in the back of a police cruiser and drive around, showing it off to unsuspecting citizens.
All jokes aside, it’s exciting to think about what other treasures may be lurking beneath our feet –or at least, beneath our boring suburban sod. Who knows what other bits of history lay waiting to be discovered in our own backyards? Maybe we should all take up a hobby as amateur archaeologists. Or we could just leave the digging to the professionals and carry on with our mundane lives, content in the knowledge that the occasional rusty cannonball is out there, just waiting for us to discover it.
