In a stunning revelation, it has been announced that a British man, who has seen both World War I and World War II, has been crowned as the world’s oldest living man. Amazingly, the 111-year-old has outlived his contemporaries, and is now officially recognized as the senior statesman of the male gender.
The man, whose identity remains a secret, has attributed his longevity to staying active and eating a balanced diet. It’s a lesson that some of us should probably take note of, but then again, who has time for exercise and healthy food when there are so many Netflix series to binge-watch and fast food restaurants to visit?
In an interview with reporters, the newly crowned centenarian expressed his surprise and delight at the news of his accolade. He is said to be a sprightly fellow, with a sharp mind and dapper dress sense. No doubt, he has become something of a pin-up for those in the geriatric community – although we’re not sure how many people in that demographic are familiar with the concept of a ‘pin-up’.
The British Royal Family have extended their congratulations to the oldest living man, with Her Majesty The Queen sending a telegram of well-wishes. She was reportedly thrilled to hear of the achievement, commenting that it gives her hope for the rest of her subjects, who she hopes will “live as long as possible, so as to pay the maximum amount of taxes to support our non-profit organization, the Crown”.
Other world leaders have also chimed in with their congratulations, although some have been more sarcastic than others. US President Donald Trump, for example, tweeted: “Wow, this British guy is really old. Sad that we don’t have anyone that old in America, but I’ll make sure to make a good deal with him. Maybe we can borrow some of his DNA.”
In spite of the global accolades, the world’s oldest living man is said to be taking the news in his stride, and is still focused on enjoying the simple pleasures in life – like playing bingo, watching daytime TV, and reminiscing about the days when a cup of tea cost less than a pound.
So, here’s to the world’s oldest living man – congratulations on your achievement. May you continue to enjoy many more years of life, and may your centennial countdown serve as a timely reminder to us all to eat healthily, stay active, and not take life too seriously. After all, time flies when you’re having fun. Or when you’re just waiting for your next meal at the care home.
