In an unexpected turn of events, scientists have discovered that the mysterious lights seen over California were not, in fact, a visitation from another planet. Nope, sorry to disappoint folks, it turns out it was just some old Chinese space junk floating around up there.
While many speculated that the bright lights were a sign of an extraterrestrial invasion or some type of top-secret military operation, the truth is far more mundane. Apparently, a discarded rocket booster from China’s Long March 7 rocket re-entered the Earth’s atmosphere and broke apart over the western United States, creating a spectacular light show.
Of course, this is hardly surprising news. After all, everyone knows that China is the ultimate authority on space exploration. It’s not like NASA or SpaceX could ever do anything as cool as sending their trash hurtling towards Earth.
Despite the fact that the mysterious lights were quickly explained, some conspiracy theorists are still clinging to their belief in little green men. They claim that the Chinese space debris was just a cover-up story, and that the government is hiding the truth from us. Because obviously, if the government wanted to keep something secret, the best way to do it would be to create a public spectacle and draw attention to the very thing they’re supposedly trying to cover up.
But the real story here isn’t about aliens or government conspiracies. It’s about California, and its undying thirst for the spotlight. Let’s be real, folks – if the lights had been seen over any other state, we wouldn’t have given it a second thought. But because it happened in California, suddenly it’s front-page news.
This is just the latest example of California’s never-ending quest for fame. Whether it’s their obsession with celebrities, their constant need to be “trendy,” or their insistence on being the epicentre of every natural disaster, California just can’t seem to stop showing off.
But hey, I guess we should give them credit for one thing – at least this time, they didn’t try to blame it on a Kardashian. Progress, people.
In the end, the mystery of the mysterious lights ended up being nothing more than a bunch of old space debris from China. Perhaps it’s a sign that we should start focusing on more important things in life than trying to find proof of life on other planets. Or maybe it just means we should start paying more attention to what China is doing up there in the great beyond.
Either way, one thing’s for sure – California will always be the star of the show.
