In today’s thrilling news, a California woman has reportedly experienced every suburbanite’s nightmare – a bear who just discovers the joy of rummaging through trash cans. For those of you who have never visited California, let me just say that bears walking around the city streets are as common as running into a Hollywood celebrity inside a 7-11 store.
The hilariously terrifying incident occurred in a quiet neighborhood in San Diego’s backcountry, where residents are used to encountering wildlife such as coyotes, rattlesnakes, and mountain lions. But, it was the sight of the huge and huggable bear that stunned the locals.
Sources stated that the woman, whose name is being withheld from the public for her own safety, had always been a lazy environmentalist, leaving her trash cans outside all night long. This may have made her a prime target for bears who enjoy snacking on anything they could find. The bear, noting the considerably less than appetizing tang in the contents of the cans, still managed to tip over the bin, scattering its contents everywhere.
Although the woman was shaken by the event, we couldn’t help but laugh when her neighbor recounted seeing her running outside in her pajamas, screaming with a toddler in her arms, watching from a safe distance as the bear helped itself to a meal of half-eaten pizza slices and stale potato chips.
Of course, the woman is not without a sense of humor about the event, saying that she was “grateful to have had a close-up and personal encounter with one of nature’s most beautiful animals.” We can only imagine that she will have a newfound appreciation for the words “wildlife”, “wilderness” and most importantly “trash bags”.
In conclusion, we find it hilarious that even though the woman’s trash cans were designed to keep the bear out, it inspired something that would challenge the mechanics of a typical sanitation system. We do not advise residents to keep their trash outside, as bears, like the rest of us, have a hard enough time finding good food as it is. Stay safe, California!
