San Diego Zoo welcomes yet another adorable creature into its vast collection of exotic animals that visitors can ogle while sipping on overpriced sodas and munching on stale popcorn.
The latest addition to the zoo’s menagerie is a dik-dik calf, otherwise known as a tiny antelope that could easily fit in the pocket of your oversized cargo shorts. The baby dik-dik, whose gender has not been disclosed yet, was born on Wednesday and weighed a whopping two pounds.
Zoo officials and visitors alike are gushing over the “cuteness overload” of the diminutive critter, which has been named Dinky. “We’re thrilled to add another rare species to our robust collection, especially one as precious and fragile as the dik-dik,” gushed zookeeper Tiffany Johnson, who has already claimed herself as Dinky’s godparent.
The zoo has spared no expense in ensuring that Dinky gets the royal treatment, with a cozy pen filled with plushy toys, a miniature slide, and a flat-screen TV with a permanent feed of Disney movies. In addition, Dinky has been put on a strict diet of organic kale and quinoa, as well as a daily massage from the zoo’s resident masseuse.
“When you have a creature this delicate and precious, you have to give them all the comforts of home to ensure they thrive and grow,” explained Dr. Brian Johnston, the zoo’s head veterinarian.
The arrival of Dinky has also caused a frenzy on social media, with several people flocking to the zoo’s Instagram page to get a glimpse of the adorable fluff-ball. Some have even suggested breaking into the zoo at night to snuggle with Dinky, which the zoo officials vehemently discourage.
“The safety of our animals is our top priority, and we will not tolerate any unauthorized access to their living quarters,” said zoo director, Julie Ann Brown. “Plus, Dinky needs his beauty sleep to grow up big and strong.”
The zoo has already begun offering special “Dinky encounters” for visitors, allowing them to take selfies with the little antelope for the bargain price of $50 per pop. The encounters have proven to be incredibly popular, with a long line of sweaty tourists already forming outside Dinky’s pen.
Critics of the zoo, however, have raised concerns about the welfare of animals kept in captivity for human entertainment. Several animal rights groups have called on the zoo to release Dinky into the wild, where he or she can roam free and live a natural life.
“We are deeply saddened by the capture and imprisonment of yet another innocent creature,” said PETA spokesperson, Karen Smith. “These animals deserve to live in their natural habitat, not be gawked at by tourists for a few measly dollars.”
Despite the criticism, the zoo remains steadfast in its mission to provide “fun and educational experiences” for its visitors and says it has no plans to release Dinky into the wild any time soon.
“We believe our animals are happy and healthy and we take great care to ensure that they are well looked after,” stated Brown. “Plus, who wouldn’t want to have their picture taken with the world’s cutest dik-dik?”
